Scabies Awareness

I have recently been diagnosed…with the scabies. In talking with some friends, coworkers, family, etc, I have come to the realization that if you have never had scabies, you most likely won’t know what it is. Since this is the absolute and total worst thing that could ever happen to anyone ever, I decided to post an awareness blog on signs, treatments, and questions in the effort to help any other poor soul who has the unfortunate circumstance of experiencing this most atrocious karmic force of hatred.

Some of these pictures/information might be gross. You’ve been warned.

This is your new best friend.

Scabies is a microorganism that burrows deep into your skin and bites you, lays eggs inside of your skin, and then takes over your entire body. When I say this, I mean everywhere from the neck down. Including your ear lobes. And without trying to be too forward, the crease where your booty turns into your leg is the worst place to itch. For real.

The beginning signs of scabies is intense itching in the night time, particularly between the fingers. That’s the key that doctors will look for. It can take up to 4-6 weeks for initial signs to start to surface, especially if you’ve never had scabies before, so if you ever itch between your fingers in the middle of the night, the first thing you need to do in the morning is go to a doctor. If, like my experience, the doctor disregards it being scabies even though you have all the signs and won’t give you the cream for it, just politely say, “If you don’t mind, then, I’ll just rub my hands all over you for a second. If it’s not scabies, you don’t have to worry. If it is and you won’t let me take care of it, I want you to suffer with me. If that doesn’t sound appealing to you, prescribe me Permethrin Cream, 5%, and Hydrocortisone Cream USP, 2.5%. Promptly.”

Your legs will be sad.

If I had known that it was scabies the doctor was disregarding, I would have said this to him. Besides, the treatment is just an ointment cream. What are you going to do with that if it’s not scabies? Nothing. No harm will come to you if you use it without scabies being present, so if you have a stubborn doctor, you should seriously make them suffer with you.

After you get the cream, you put it on from head to toe and leave it on for 12 hours. Now. Read this carefully:

The first night you put on this cream will be the worst experience of your life.

Seriously, I could only sleep in 10 minute intervals. It was ridiculous. The way the cream works is it absorbs into your skin overnight and kills the live ones. You can feel that. You can feel them fleeing. Almost like you can feel their fear. Inside of your skin. It’s like a little zap and a little burn every time one of them dies, and your skin will break…the f*ck…out. After the 12 hours, you rinse off the cream and wash all of your clothes and bedding in hot water and vacuum your room and all of that.

The cream is only used once and left for a week…in which the process of what happens the first night continues to repeat as all of the eggs continue to hatch. Yeah, get used to it. You saw the picture of what the scabies mite looks like. That little piece of sheeyat is burrowed in your skin and making a family out of your body. Therefore, it is completely normal for you to break out and get worse symptoms after the cream — that just means it’s working. Why it has to torture you this bad is beyond me, and I’m still suffering so trust me — it’s a pain in the ass. Quite literally, too. And a pain in the legs. The arms. The wrists. The fingers. The stomach, belt line, inner thighs, groin area, ribs, armpits, the ears — yeah, they’re all infested with bugs.

Your hands will be sad too.

Now, scabies is contagious, passed on from skin to skin contact (so after you get scabies go punch anyone you’ve come into physical contact with, just in case) — but after the first 48-72 hours you are no longer contagious even though you will have worse bumps and all that. That’s just the dead carcasses of the scabies mite being pushed out of your skin. Part of the reason you can’t sleep is because, hello, that’s the most traumatizing thought…ever.

So, if you ever itch between your fingers, get checked instantly, touch no one, and prepare for the worst experience of your life. My heart goes out to you.

Image: