Life Without X

Under yesterday’s Daily Prompt (which, yes, I’m just getting to now), the post was about choosing one letter from the English language and not using it. Well, I decided we could all live without an “x” (if you know what I mean) so perhaps I will prove how useless the letter (and the person) are.

My first tattoo on my right shoulder was just a small quote, which is going to grow into some bigger quotes, which is going to turn into a beautiful piece of art. The quote says, “Love is universally individual.” A lot of people ask me what that means or what the inspiration is behind it, so here goes.

I was on a search for love. I was afraid I was going to die alone (even though I’m only 23) and that there was no one out there for me. I kept watching my friends get married, have kids, start lives, be happy, all that sappy crap that the rest of us cynics talk smack on anyway so why I’m looking for that is beyond me.

I digress.

As I spoke to people about their relationships and feelings (because in my mind every person is a character, so picking apart their brain is really fun), I started to realize something: while love was, indeed, a universal emotion, it was never felt the same way. Everyone knows or encounters love at some point in their lives, and everyone has the capability of loving someone or something, but the feeling is always different. Some feel it in their hearts. Some in their stomachs. Some get weak in the knees. While that may sound common, the way people describe the feeling is always different. So that was the story behind my tattoo, that love was a universal emotion that binds humanity together, yet doesn’t take away from our uniqueness at the same time.

This is something I try to remind myself when dates don’t work or relationships start to crumble. If the same caliber of love isn’t met with your partner, it’s not worth it. Love isn’t supposed to be complicated. I was talking to a coworker the other day, and she said it perfectly: “If you aren’t married or don’t have a kid together, there’s no point fighting for it. Relationships aren’t supposed to be  that complicated.”

It’s true.

A lot of us grieve over our loved ones. The people we fall for know us so well, and it’s hard to let it go sometimes. They are shown a side of you that the general public never sees, break through insecurities and issues and work together, and when it’s taken away devastation knows how to find a way in.

That’s when you pull out the bottle of whiskey and post signs around your room reminding you why you hate the person and blast some Adele.

They say the first break up is the hardest. I don’t necessarily have a huge list to compare all of these to, but I think each break up takes a different part of you. The end result, though, is something that’s hard to constantly remember, but something we know we’ll eventually get to.

They’re not worth it.

If they can’t find our worth, we shouldn’t be able to find theirs.

Don’t pick the sad songs from Adele (or whoever your go-to break up artist is.) Pick ones like “Best For Last” or “Rumour Has It.” Don’t harden your heart, but continue to open it for someone who cares enough to take it for you. That’s the problem with love these days — everyone’s so willing to let it die, so determined to avoid the pain, and so scared of the “What ifs” that no one takes the time to enjoy each other’s company anymore.

If you’re married, remember this: There’s an entire army of people out there who wish they had a Valentine’s date every year. Who wish they could sleep alongside someone every night. Who want to share memories and life and laughter. You’re lucky you have it. Although since I’ve never been married, I could just be talking out of my ass, but who knows? My parents just celebrated 27 years and my grandparents are going 63, so it is possible.

I guess what I’m trying to say most is don’t be afraid to love. And don’t be afraid to let go. If someone doesn’t love you back, pick out the weeds until you find the flowers. When you find the flower, don’t crush it because you’re scared, but embrace it. Don’t focus on future “What ifs” and focus on taking things day by day, and maybe if your greatest fear is dying alone you’ll find the companion to prove you wrong.

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6 thoughts on “Life Without X

  1. Pingback: LEFT FOR DEAD | hastywords

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  4. “in my mind every person is a character”… I thought I was the only person who thought like this 😉 I remember my break up with my true love – it literally felt like I could not breath. Like someone was sitting on my chest. But in the end, the work put into the relationship was not worth it. I am glad that I had the experience though…

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