Warning: This post may contain graphic nature not suitable for minors.
Muahahaha I’ve always wanted to write something like that.
Really, though, some of this content might be kind of freaky (based on the title, are you surprised? No?)
When I was a kid, I used to enjoy horror movies. A lot. The thrill of being scared, not knowing what was coming next, sleeping with one eye open just in case Freddy Krueger was real, all that kind of stuff. They were a fun way to distract yourself from reality (and, as a young writer, always provided really good ideas.)
Then I saw The Exorcist.
I was sixteen-years-old, at a friend’s seventeenth birthday party around Halloween, and they decided to watch that movie. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I had to sleep with the light on for a good six or seven months after that one. I’m still, actually, a little traumatized by it.
But there’s two things that become exceptionally aggravating (only one nowadays, the other has always been around) and make the movies far less scary and far more annoying:
1.) They have 700 sequels.
2.) Their trailers and posters steadily become more horrifying than the actual film.
Sequels didn’t seem to be that big of a deal for people back in the 70s and 80s. How many Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween movies are there? (There’s 8 Nightmares, one remake, and a television series and 10 Halloween movies with one remake and a television series. Rediculousness.)
My focus, however, isn’t going to be on slasher films including these films and the obnoxiously never-ending Saw films. I could, but I haven’t seen enough of them to back my evidence up and it would make this post like 300 pages long and I don’t know if I can hold that much interest (or not wet myself for that amount of time looking at all these trailers and posters. Yeesh.)
My focus on this post is going to be the insanely popular, all-too-terrifying demonic possession movies that continually get made. While I don’t necessarily have too many experiences with these, either (I’ll admit now I’ve only seen 3 of the movies I’m talking about), their trailers and posters scare me enough to make me feel like I know how scary the film is going to be. (Maybe. But I’ll get to that.)
Enough of my circling babble, let’s cut the the chase.
In 1973 when The Exorcist first aired, the movie poster wouldn’t have given too much away as to the plot of the film (the name obviously does, though.) As pictured to the right, it’s a man standing outside of a house with a briefcase. Plain. Simple. To the point. If you took the title away people would be more confused than they would be scared. They might even be able to come up with a couple of alternative, less scary stories to tell about the man (because a picture is worth a thousand words, people.)
What I like about this poster, though, is that it doesn’t scare me. Nowadays I feel like horror films are like religious activists: They continue to shove their opinions/visions down your throat, and only a handful of people actually care. (To be fair, I’m not bashing either one of these parties. I respect horror movie makers and I’m religious myself, but there are boundaries one way or the other.)
After the less-than-haunting poster comes the trailer. There’s some chills in here, to be sure, but it seems as though these filmmakers were smart and went with the “less is more” aspect of life. They didn’t show all of their scary bits right away in the film, and left people to wonder what was going to happen and heighten their interest in the film. See for yourself, if you dare:
Ok, enough of Regan.
Do you know how many sequels there are of The Exorcist? Four. One came out in 2004, 31 years after the original movie released. I don’t even support that with Star Wars! (Don’t…get me started…on Star Wars right now.) Because modern-day filmmakers just don’t know when to let things go. Even better? They’re directing a mini-series remaking the original movie.
Get. Over. It.
The next batch of scary movies the world needs to get over is Paranormal Activity. I’m not going to lie to you people, this one scared me too. They all do. I’ve only seen the first one and closed my eyes for the duration of the third one because I was conned into seeing it. (My friends wanted to go to the midnight premiere and I told them if they bought my ticket and didn’t pry my hands away from my eyes I would go and listen. I didn’t think they would take the bait. They did.) This one gets to me because of the whole sleeping thing. With Freddy Krueger, sure, he attacks you in your dreams. In paranormal activity, homegirl stands next to you and watches you sleep (seriously, though, if I ever woke up and someone was just standing over my bed watching me sleep I’d wet myself. Especially after seeing this movie), gets dragged down the hall, all sorts of possessed and killing people — no. That just does not fly with me.
Then we get to the trailer of this film. This was the start of horror movies showing all of their scares in the trailer, making it hard to watch them and giving away half the thrills:
My kids don’t need to see some of that stuff. Do you know what I mean? Nowadays filmmakers think that thrills and chills are the way to attract the audience, because it seems as though they have forgotten how to psychologically scare people and like to throw it all in their faces.
I don’t have too much of a problem with the first Paranormal Activity, though, to be honest. I got behind the idea of the second one. Then got dragged to the third. Got tired and annoyed when they announced the fourth. Then found out about the Japanese spin off (which, let’s be real, is probably terrifying.) Then I got even more annoyed when they announced the fifth. Then I almost hit someone when they announced the Latino spin off.
There comes a time when it just becomes like beating a dead horse. Congratulations for keeping audience’s attention for that long, but good Lord let this thing go.
Though the film won’t feature any of the main characters from the Paranormal Activity franchise, it is said to focus on the same demon-like thingy that enjoys lurking in shadows and throwing people across rooms.
That’s really the plot-line they’re sticking with? The same demon-like “thingy” that enjoys throwing people? With none of the same cast? (Although I did hear Katie was, yet again, making a demon-possessed guest appearance. You’re talented, dear. Find another movie.)
Have they even shown what this thing looks like yet? Because every film I hear they’re supposed to and then…
This one doesn’t yet have a sequel, but the movie poster and trailer are both terrifying. And in my opinion, shouldn’t be shown to the general public. People should have the option of whether or not they want to see some of this stuff, and it’s hard to avoid when it’s everywhere you turn. This one, however, is a prime example of putting all of your scares into the trailer. From what I heard, no one liked this movie. At all. No one was even scared by it. But the trailer gave people nightmares.
We have none other than The Devil Inside.
But the first comment made underneath the video? “One of the worse films I’ve seen, all the action is show in the trailer.”
I rest my case on this one. I don’t have enough left to say about it to wrap the movie poster around, so here it is:
I’ve got one more to talk about and then I think I’ve had my fill of thrills and chills for the day. (Technically two, because now there’s a sequel.)
The Last Exorcism.
All right. Here’s the thing. And don’t get all angry in my face for saying this, but I really want to know:
How is it that
1.) Video games are blamed for all sorts of violence when these kinds of images are put onto movie boxes?
2.) Religious fanatics freak out on things like gay marriage that promotes love, but no controversies are really started over things that promote being possessed by the devil? Or organizations like PETA fight for animal rights in films, but humans are allowed to be shown all contorted and messed up and crazy? (I know, with that, the humans are making their own conscious choice, but still.) Obviously people have problems with movies like these, don’t get me wrong, but why isn’t there more of a petition going against something like this?
I just don’t get that. Honestly, I don’t. How is this entertaining? It’s horrifying.
And they’re making a sequel.
For the love of everything not possessed in the world (which, I’m hoping, is the majority if not all of it) can’t they have listened to their own movie title? The LAST Exorcism. No mas. Done. The last one. No need for another one.
Maybe I’m just weak when it comes to these movies. Maybe I just need to get over it. I know a lot of these opinions are made solely on the covers and the trailers because I’ve only seen a couple of the ones I’ve talked about, but honestly enough is enough. Tone it down a little. Some of us really don’t like being that scared. Just like the humans who choose to be in the movie, let humans choose whether or not they want to see it. I’m not one of them, so get out of my life. And above all else, stop with the sequels. Be original.
In the meantime, faithful readers, sleep well.
The Exorcist Miniseries: http://bloody-disgusting.com/news/18103/
Paranormal Activity: http://cdn-1.nflximg.com/images/8093/1058093.jpg
Paranormal Activity 5 Info: http://collider.com/paranormal-activity-5-2013/205293/
The Last Exorcism: http://www.lionsgatepublicity.com/epk/thelastexorcism/images/brka_300dpi.jpg