In days like the ones we live in, grammar is becoming an extinct topic. At least in my opinion. When Twitter only allows 140 characters, it is getting increasingly difficult to keep texted grammar…intelligent, if you will. With that being said, there’s still certain grammatical (errors is a choice word of mine)…situations, perhaps is better for the general public. Grammatical situations. There’s some that still drive me crazy, even in this Twitter-cellphone-Facebook-Skyped crazy world, and here are five of them.
*I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT TO SAY THAT I’M OBVIOUSLY NO EXPERT, AND I’M OBVIOUSLY NOT PERFECT, THIS IS JUST HOW I FEEL ABOUT SOME STUFF. Just so I don’t step on anyone’s toes. 😉
All right, I have this listed as the lowest one because, again, I understand in the Twitter world you have a certain amount of characters you’re allowed. But I…abso…lute…ly….hate….it…when a text would say something like this:
“U r abt 2 b mindblwn.”
Gah. Gah. Gah. I can’t. When people text me with “u r” or “wut r u doing” or that kind of business (and if you’re a good friend of mine and you’re reading this, you know who you are. Don’t act like I haven’t complained about it to you before) it drives me absolutely…mad. When I read, I read based on the letters I suppose. So when I see “abt” standing for “about”, I read it like a Canadian. “Aboot.” I’m not Canadian. I don’t want to pronounce words like a Canadian would. I have a couple cousins in Canada, I’m not trying to hate — but I don’t want my words in my head to be like “English English English Canadianenglish English English.” That stops my flow of reading. Because my mind is like, “Wait, what just happened? Robin Scherbatsky isn’t speaking.”
When it comes to Twitter, this kind of stuff drives me crazy when they don’t put spaces in between the words.
Oh, Lord in heaven save me, when people don’t put spaces between their words I’m afraid I’m going to have an aneurysm. Seriously.
Look at that for a second. Could you read that the first go? No. But people tweet like this. I’m thankful, THANKFUL, no one texts me like this. Oh, God help my grandchildren if they ever come to me with a sentence like this (because, let’s be real, I’m texting my grandkids. My grandma texts me, and by the time I have grandkids old enough to text [which, by then, texting will occur with talking] I’ll probably have some ridiculously high-tech cell phone that can just read my thoughts or something) because I will kill them. Belt off and a spanking (not really, but you get my point.)
Spaces, people. Above all else. If you must insist on abbreviating words like this, at least space them. Save people like me, kind, fragile souls, from beating our heads into the wall. Because it makes us want to.
*P.S. — can we at least not abbreviate “and” with “n”? That’s still the only one I can’t get behind justifying. And I also need to catch up with you hooligans because I had to look up “smh” at least 10-15 times before I finally retained what it meant.
#4. Putting Spaces Between Punctuation
Seriously, people. You can’t put a space between a word, but you can put one between a word and a comma? A word and a period? Or would it be easier for me to write it like “U cnt put a space be2een a wrd , bt u cn put 1 be2een a wrd n a comma ?”
I’m getting anxiety just writing this post.
But legitimately, when people put a space between the word and the punctuation mark, I just shout “I DON’T WANT TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE!” It looks silly. And when I read it, I’m always like…”How long did this person debate which punctuation mark to use before they settled on that one ?”
I put a space there, did you see it? Is it more obvious now that I’ve brought attention to it ? On this one, I can get behind people thinking I’m just crazy. Because I am. You have to be to be a writer. But what I would like to leave you with on this one, dear readers, is if you’re going to incorrectly use spaces…Just don’t. Or at least space between words before you space between punctuation marks. In the meantime, try to stop spacing between punctuation marks. Just. Please?
#3. Two, To, Too
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK folks. Pay attention. I’m going to teach you something really quickly.
Two- a number. The second number in the numerical system. For all you abbreviators out there, it looks like this: 2.
To- used to express motion, direction, contact, etc… For example: I’m going to your house. I’m going to beat you up if you don’t use these correctly. That kind of stuff.
Too- in addition, an excessive amount, affirmation, etc… For example: This bothers me, too. I’m too tired of seeing this, it drives me crazy.
Get it? Got it? Good.
If I see one more person write something like “The too teenagers went two the store to buy to sodas” I’m going to flip. My middle school grammar teacher is cringing his toenails. (Yes, his actual toenails. That’s how much he believes in these being correct. And I learned from the best. Eighth grade English teacher, you know who you are.)
#2. They’re, Their, There
Really strap on your seatbelts now. Because I have actually hit myself in the head for mixing these up (because, like I said, I’m not perfect. I make mistakes too. But, like thinking before you speak, edit before you post. Can I get an amen?)
They’re- for those of you who like to abbreviate, this should be easy for you. Because it’s a contraction. Which abbreviates the second half of the word. They’re=they are. As in, they are in a lot of danger. They are crazy. They are fun to hang out. They are=they’re. See what I did there? Good. Remember it.
Their- this is used for possession. For example: I went to their house yesterday and played with their dog while they did their homework. Remember “heir” and think of a person. And put a “t” in front of that person. And remember they’re not plural, and they’re not going anywhere, therefore it’s their. Savvy?
There- used for specificity and places and such. For example: Hey, have you been to Las Vegas? Why, yes, I have been there before. Or such things as There you have it. There you go. There you are.
Above all else, please, please, at least don’t mix and match in one sentence if you’re not sure which is which. Aaahhh I could pull out my hair right now.
“I went to they’re house to pet there dog but no one was their.”
Don’t do it.
If in doubt, pick a different word.
Listen to me, and listen to me very carefully, fellow friends and readers. I think, legitimately, this may be the death of me. I literally cringe when these are messed up. I’ve cried over it before, screaming, “Whyyyy! Whyyy?!?” Part of that “Why” question can definitely be applied to “Why do you care so much about this?” For that, I must say that I do not know. I just do. It bothers me, and I feel the need to let everyone know.
If you watch Friends, Ross Gellar puts this in perfect perspective in season 4 when Rachel gives him that 18 page letter and he doesn’t read all of it. The quote goes as follows:
“Y-o-u apostrophe r-e is you are. Y-o-u-r is your!”
Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you, Ross Gellar.
This is my biggest pet peeve. Ever. Even dirt between my toes isn’t as annoying as this.
You’re- you are. You are awesome for finishing this post. You are awesome if you agree with what I’m saying. You are still awesome if you don’t agree and think I’m crazy, but please be nice about it. =)
Your- a possessive. This is not your blog, it is mine. I’m going to your party because you invited me.
The most common mistake people make with this is “Your welcome.”
My welcome what? My welcome-ing hug? My welcome-ing house?
As in, you’re welcome for bringing you all to the light.